Almost Honest
by silver blood
Summary: He desperately wanted to be honest, to tell her the exact circumstances in which she’d caught him when she called. But when he heard the sobs tearing out of her chest, all he could do was lie. Rogan.
1. Chapter 1

**Story Title: **Almost Honest

**Author: **Silver Blood

**Summary: **He hesitated for a full ten seconds, just long enough for one of Rory's sobs to reach his ears. He desperately wanted to be honest, to tell her the exact circumstances in which she'd caught him when she called. But when he heard the sobs tearing out of her chest, all he could do was lie.

**A/N:** It probably has been done before, but I don't read Rogans so I wouldn't know. I'm sorry if it's just like every other story out there right now, but I'm not such a huge fan of Logan's so I have no clue. I just love this song and I couldn't help but think of Rory and Logan when I heard it. So here we are: my first Rogan!

* * *

In the evening  
Raise a glass and tell some lies  
Make a pass, impress another girl,  
She was easy on the eyes

She was easy  
And so was I

* * *

It was late when the phone rang. Nearly two-thirty, according to the alarm clock that Logan could barely focus his blurry gaze on. 

Reaching for his cell phone in the darkness, panic crept up on him. He knew who it was. The only person that ever called him at this hour. He silenced it quickly, hesitating before standing and pulling on a pair of shorts.

When he reached the couch in the living room he lowered himself carefully, as if he were trying not to make any noise.

He didn't want to answer.

He didn't want to talk to her right now, so he waited, knowing she'd leave a message.

But there was no beep. There was no sign that a voicemail was awaiting him. Slightly worried and disappointed, he started back towards the bedroom. But the silence was interrupted again, and this time Logan knew he had to answer.

Something had to be wrong.

"Ace?"

He could hear her tears, even though she was trying her best to suppress them.

"Hey... I'm sorry to be calling so late."

"What's wrong?"

"I just... Wanted to talk. I shouldn't have woken you. I'll call back tomorrow."

He wanted to agree. He wanted to tell her he was desperately tired, he needed his rest. He wanted to forget the pain he heard in her voice, push back his conscience and stop the churning in his gut that accompanied her every word, but he didn't.

He couldn't.

"No, Ace... It's okay. Tell me what's bothering you."

He waited, her ragged breaths torturing him. She couldn't speak. She was hurting.

"Rory? What's wrong? You're scaring me."

She laughed sadly.

"I'm sorry... I missed you. I guess I'm just lonely."

Logan squeezed his eyes shut.

"Me too, Ace. I really do miss you"

His voice sounded choked, and Rory knew he was sincere. But something in his voice caught her attention. It sounded like guilt.

"So... What have you been doing lately? I mean besides work..."

Logan took a deep breath. The words were there, on the tip of his tongue. Words that he knew he had to say eventually. But he couldn't force it. His heart ached, because he knew the truth would eventually come out, and it would be over.

"Logan?"

She sounded so scared. He felt the tears welling in his eyes.

"Business dinners, parties my dad forces me to go to... The usual. Except I don't have you with me to make it more tolerable."

She heard it again. It was unmistakable this time.

Guilt.

"How do you bear it without me?"

He chuckled, but it was nervous. There was no teasing in her tone.

"You don't really want to hear all the boring details do you? Tell me what you've been up to."

She was disappointed. It seemed that their conversation had been leading into territory Logan wanted to avoid.

"Um... I've been working in Stars' Hollow, at the bookstore. I forgot how much fun it could be. And I've seen Lane a few times..."

She sighed, and couldn't keep the tears from her voice.

"Luke and mom broke up again, and things are really screwed up. It's like she's a zombie. I want to help her, but she won't let me. It's hard to be around her when she's hurting so badly."

"I'm so sorry, Ace. What happened?"

"Luke said he couldn't get married right now..."

She sniffled.

"Can we not talk about this now? I'm already kind of depressed."

Logan relaxed into his leather couch, his mind racing.

"Yeah, okay..."

The let the conversation rest for a few minutes before Logan broke it with a whisper.

"Ace?"

She whispered back, although she wasn't sure why.

"Yeah?"

He took a deep breath, closing his eyes. His chest hurt and his hand was clenched into a fist on his chest. He knew it was wrong, but he had to ask.

"Do you ever think about us... In the future? Not like tomorrow or next year... I mean ten, twenty years from now."

Rory couldn't breathe. He'd knocked the wind out of her.

"I don't know... You mean..?"

"I know we're young. And we haven't been together very long... But have you ever thought about the big stuff? Like... marriage?"

She didn't know what to say. Her heart was twisting in her chest, anxiety mixing with elation.

"Do you, Logan?"

He wanted to sob. He didn't know why he'd picked this moment. It was horrible timing. Things were going to go wrong very soon, and she was oblivious... It wasn't fair to ask her these things. But he had to tell her how he felt. Before she found out the truth.

"God, yes. I try not to, but I think about everything. I want marriage, Rory. I want that with you. I wonder all the time what it would be like to grow old with you. I wonder what our children would look like, what we would name them... God, Ace..."

Rory couldn't stop the tears that continued to flow down her face. His words were beautiful, but it was the earnestness with which he said them that touched her so deeply.

"Rory... You're the one. You're it for me."

He heard hear over the line. Hiccuping sobs and sniffles.

"I love you so much, Logan. I wish you were here. I always thought we'd be face to face if we ever had this talk... And I never thought you'd be the one to bring it up. God, you're amazing."

He laughed, but not in amusement. She heard the difference.

"I'm not amazing, Ror. I'm truly not. I want to be... for you. I want to be perfect, but I'm not. Don't expect me to be, please. I'll only disappoint you."

He sounded guilty again.

_Third time's the charm._

"Logan, what's going on?"

"I just miss you, Ace. That's all."

She hesitated.

"Have there been other girls, Logan? Please..."

Her voice cracked.

"Please tell me you haven't slept with anyone else."

He hesitated for a full ten seconds, just long enough for one of Rory's sobs to reach his ears. He desperately wanted to be honest, to tell her the exact circumstances in which she'd caught him when she called. But when he heard the sobs tearing out of her chest, all he could do was lie.

"No, Rory. It's only you. For the rest of my life, it will only be you."

* * *

End 

A/N:

Or should I continue?


	2. Chapter 2

**Story Title: **Almost Honest

**Author: **Silver Blood

**Summary: **He desperately wanted to be honest, to tell her the exact circumstances in which she'd caught him when she called. But when he heard the sobs tearing out of her chest, all he could do was lie. Angsty Rogan.

**A/N: **I want to thank everyone for their reviews, both positive and negative... I noticed a lot of people didn't like 'cheating Logan,' so I'm going to warn everybody that yes, Logan cheats on her in this story. BUT, even if you don't like the idea of him cheating, the way he deals with it will be completely different in this story. The same applies for Rory. Anyway- THANKS SO MUCH FOR THE REVIEWS! Also... I love happy endings. Just so you know.

* * *

So in the meantime  
You'll be resting on my mind  
For the last time  
I will leave myself behind

I gave in to the loneliness

But I didn't give them nothing else

* * *

For the next three days, Logan avoided Rory's calls. He was so distracted that he'd completely missed an important meeting, and his father was not happy with him.

But then, he was not happy with his father.

Staring at the phone, he waited. It seemed he'd been waiting for hours. Glancing up at the clock, he realized that he had.

Finally, sighing, he stood, walking to the fridge and getting a beer.

Rory wasn't going to be calling him any time soon. And he couldn't blame her. But he knew that if he didn't speak to her soon, he'd lose his nerve. He had to be honest with her. For once, he had to do the right thing.

Picking up the phone, he prepared himself for the worst.

"Hello?"

He took a deep breath.

"Rory..."

There was silence over the line.

"I should probably hang up on you, Logan."

His heart wrenched at the coldness in her voice.

"I'm sorry. I've been... busy."

It was a lame excuse, and she didn't hesitate to call him on it.

"Everybody is busy, Logan. You're not busy when I call at one and two-thirty in the morning, are you?"

He sensed the real meaning behind the question, and side-stepped it entirely.

"I was avoiding you , okay? I needed some time..."

"What, because of the conversation we had the other night? The one about our future?"

He paused.

"You're the one who brought it up, who said all that stuff about getting married and having kids and wanting forever! I didn't do this, Logan. I didn't trap you. So if you're feeling trapped, it's your own fault! Don't take it out on me."

His entire body ached. He'd hurt her so many times, and he was about to do it again. His voice was quiet, strained.

"No, Rory. You're wrong, about all of that. I'm not scared of forever, I'm terrified that I'm going to lose you."

Rory put her face in her hand, trying not to cry. She'd been crying all day, and she was done with it.

"Logan... You're not going to lose me. Not unless you keep avoiding me. Not calling is not the way to keep me. I've done that before. _We've_ done that before. I thought we were past that."

He took a deep breath, preparing himself. He sincerely hoped she wouldn't interrupt him, because if she did, he'd never get it out.

"I didn't call because I knew I'd have to tell you something. I don't want to say it, and you don't want to hear it. But I keep trying to, because you have to know. But once I tell you, everything will change. I don't want anything to change."

Her voice got smaller.

"Logan? Tell me. Whatever it is, we'll fix it."

But she didn't sound very optimistic.

"I've been dating."

She drew in a sharp breath, but didn't speak. She was too stunned to speak. So he attempted to explain, before she came to her senses and hung up on him.

"My dad keeps setting me up. Almost every night for the past two weeks I've had a date. It's all these society girls. Their fathers work with mine... you know how that works, don't you Rory?"

He was pleading for her to understand.

"I tried, Rory. I really tried to get out of it but I can't. It's part of my job, according to my dad."

He waited for her to speak, and was surprised when her voice came out strong and icy.

"How many have you slept with?"

His heart sank. He could feel it puddle at his feet.

There was no way in hell he was telling her.

"None! No, Rory... I haven't kissed a single girl. I haven't even been tempted."

"Liar."

"Ace, I swear. I know I should have told you. I wish I had. But I kept thinking that he'd stop trying to set me up when he saw that I rejected all of the girls...but it hasn't stopped, and I don't think it will... I don't know what to do here."

She laughed. It was a harsh, bitter sound that broke his heart.

"You want me to wait around while you date for an entire year. That's what you want to do. But I can't do that, Logan. We're either together or we're not. And if you're seeing other women, then we're not. Whether you're sleeping with them, which I think you are, or not."

Her voice was so quiet, so calm, that he had a sudden urge to throw something. Rory heard the crystal vase shatter against the wall and flinched.

"Rory... I can't get out of it. I have no options here."

"You didn't deny it."

"What?"

Her fists clenched.

"You're sleeping with them."

He remained silent, waiting for the click that would signal the end of their relationship, but it didn't come. So he spoke quietly, baring his heart as best he could.

"I love you, Rory. And I know that doesn't make this alright. It makes it worse... I'm so sorry."

She felt the first pieces of her heart crumble away.

His voice broke, signaling the beginning of his complete breakdown.

"I meant everything I said the other night... But I'm so lonely... I know you are too, and you'd never do this to me, but I was so alone, and so cold... It happened twice. And it meant nothing to me either time, except that now I have all this guilt and I hurt you so much."

He heard her quiet sobs. She wasn't going to speak.

"I know it's unforgivable, Rory... I don't deserve you, but I love you. I don't know what else to say, I... Ace? Please say something."

She did.

"I slept with Finn."

* * *

**A/N:** Okay, so that wasn't part of the plan until this chapter... I'm thinking nobody is going to like this plot twist. I'm not even sure I do. But please, if you have negative comments, be gentle. I'm extremely sensitive. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Story Title: **Almost Honest

**Author: **Silver Blood

**Summary: **He desperately wanted to be honest, to tell her the exact circumstances in which she'd caught him when she called. But when he heard the sobs tearing out of her chest, all he could do was lie. Rogan.

**A/N: **Wow. I was not expecting the kind of response I got from this story. I absolutely love hearing everyone's opinion on this! So here are some answers you might want. Yes, it's a Rogan. No, I don't hate Logan, nor will I make him out to be some horrible guy that doesn't care about Rory. He loves her with all his heart, I fully intend to make that clear. It's the reason 'Almost Honest' reminds me so much of Logan. The lyrics don't convey enough, you'd have to listen to the song, but it's about the fact that mistakes are made, no matter how much you love someone. There's going to be a happy ending. But it's all about the journey. THANK YOU to everyone that reviewed.

* * *

Been a long time  
Since I've lay with you in bed  
Conversations, full of words you never said

* * *

**Chapter Three**

Hours of stillness, his head resting in his hands, had made his neck stiff. From the second he heard Rory's final statement, and the click on the line, he had barely moved. He'd buried his face in his hands and was basking in his own misery.

It was his fault. He'd treated her badly, and she wanted to hurt him. So she did, deliberately.

His face was still dry. He hadn't let tears come. It wasn't for him to cry about. Rory was the one that had been truly wronged. He knew that.

Three beers later, he wasn't sure if he actually knew anything else, but he'd hatched a plan.

Fly to Yale, get the girl.

It was simple enough. It would work.

And the reason he knew that it would work, that it had to be the solution, was because he wasn't coming back. Screw his father and his 'obligations.'

He had been the one to force the girls on Logan, so part of the blame lay on his shoulders.

He was the last person Logan wanted to turn into, but it was happening right before his own eyes.

Shifting, trying to ease the tension from his neck, Logan reached for his phone, planning to schedule a flight that very night if possible.

But the phone rang in his hand.

The caller ID said 'Finn.'

Sighing heavily, Logan brought a hand to his neck, massaging the sore muscles there. He didn't want to talk to Finn. He wanted to yell, and scream, and break things. But he had to answer, because it was Finn. He knew what to expect from this phone call, and he didn't want to deal with it.

"Logan! Look, mate- I know you talked to Rory. She mentioned your earlier conver-"

"Finn. Shut up."

"No, look. You have to listen. I've been hanging out with Rory a lot. Because we're both lonely right now. We miss you, Logan. That's why we spend so much time together. We drink, and we talk, but-"

"Finn. Shut up."

He took a deep breath.

"I know you didn't sleep with Rory."

A sigh of relief across the line.

"Thank God, because I was bloody terrified you wouldn't believe me."

Logan squeezed his eyes shut.

"How _did _you know, Huntz?"

He was silent for a moment, thinking carefully of how to answer.

"She loves me. You're my best friend."

He drew in a quick breath, pain fluttering through his chest.

"I know you. You're the most loyal person I've ever met. And I know Rory. She loves me. Neither of you would ever cross that line. And I knew that when she said it. But I don't think she cared much how convincing she was. She said it just to hurt me. I screwed up, Finn. I ruined everything. My entire future, it's just fallen to pieces. And the worst part is, hers is slipping away just as fast. And it's my fault."

Finn could hear raw pain in his friend's voice. It wasn't something he'd heard before, and it frightened him.

"Look... yeah. You screwed up. And yeah, she might take a few bloody lifetimes to forgive you, but you're right. She loves you. And you love her. You guys can work it out."

Logan nodded, though his friend could not see him.

"I'm coming home. Tonight, tomorrow... I don't know. But as soon as I can. I'm gonna need a place to stay."

Finn cleared his throat.

"Don't get mad now, alright?"

Logan's voice held a hint of warning.

"Finn. What?"

"She's staying with me right now."

Logan felt something oddly close to relief.

"I trust you, Finn. I understand. She needs a friend... And that's all you are. Right?"

Finn's voice lowered.

"I'd never do that to you, mate. She's the woman you love, and one of my best friends. That's it. That won't change. Not ever."

"Don't tell her I'm coming, please."

He hesitated.

"Logan... I'm not sure I can do that."

"Finn... Just don't, okay? I'd really appreciate it."

Finn sighed.

"Fine. I'll just tell her we talked. She knew I was calling you."

"Okay.. Can you tell her..."

He choked on the words.

"Tell her that I love her."

Finn closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the doorway to his kitchen.

"I'll tell her, but it's up to you to make her believe it."

Logan swallowed hard.

"I'll see you, Finn."

"Bye."

Hanging up his cell, Finn padded quietly through the kitchen, getting a water from the fridge. Entering his room, he watched as Rory pretended to be asleep underneath his blankets. He leaned over and kissed her forehead, taking a seat next to her on the edge of the bed. She opened one eye blurrily.

"I talked to Logan."

She didn't seem interested. Her hollow eyes didn't register any emotion at all.

"He already knew it wasn't true."

Rory's eyes finally focused on Finn.

"He wanted me to tell you he loves you."

At this, Rory shook with a sob and rolled over, facing the wall.

"But he doesn't, Finn. He never did."

"Rory. That's not-"

"Goodnight, Finn."

Resigned, he turned around and walked toward the living room, but stopped in the doorway.

"You know he loves you. You may be hurting, but don't forget that he'd do anything for you. Even though it doesn't seem like it now."

Rory sniffled.

"No, it doesn't. And I know he loves me, but..."

Her voice faded slowly, until it was only a whisper.

"Please Finn, just let me sleep. I'm sorry, but I need to be alone."

He nodded.

"I'm here for you."

Five minutes later, he settled into the familiar couch in the living room, wondering how he'd gotten so mixed up in everything.

Wondering how it was that he'd realized suddenly that he was falling for Rory Gilmore.

Groaning, he rolled over, tossing restlessly for the rest of the night.

* * *

**A/N:** Okay, so most of you saw that one coming. To clarify, in case someone is confused or I didn't make it clear enough, nothing has happened between Rory and Finn. At all. Except that he's fallen in love with her, and she is, as usual, completely oblivious. She only said something happened to hurt Logan... So... What do you think? 


End file.
